Respect in the home No1:
Respect The Home,
I am very big on respect in my home and I mean more than just the *please & thank you* respect.
As a child growing up in a home of 8, we learned a lot of things at early ages, so did my kids when I was old enough and started having kids of my own, my friends' kids, nannying, ect.
Starting at the age of a toddler you knew better, had good judgements to keep out of trouble. Now does this mean we never got in trouble? hah! of cores we did! we were kids, we some errors, too.
No matter your age, if you had been playing soccer in the back yard and accidentally broke the window with the ball....you paid for it. And I don't just mean payed for it by a spanking, but you worked around the home inside and out at $0.25 an hr until paid off. If you did a lazy job working you had to re-do it until it was done correct. As a young child you learned fast, and you learned respect fast. Now by breaking the window even though it was an accident was considered disrespect to the home. But, paying for the window that we broke and doing our best at our work was respect to the home and to family, too.
Respect in the home No2:
Interrupting:If you interrupted anyone whether inside the home our in public, that was disrespectful to the person you're interrupting. But especially if it was an adult interrupted!
If you interrupted someone, or hung around like leach, you were dismissed and no longer excused to jump in. Same went if you interrupted an adult, but this one also included a dismissal and a spanking.
You learned FAST to respect others, other inside the home, the home, others belongings, others space, and much more!
I taught all my kids this same way minus the spanking and they were very, very, very respectful by the ages of 2 yo. Now days we are in a blended family and it feels all their progresses in life are going down hill, causing the disrespect in the home to be added with theirs. So what do you do with 5 kids?
Well the answers are easy. There is no secret. Are you ready to hear it?
BE PERSISTANT AND KEEP YOUR THREATS.
If you tell your child; If you leave your dinner dishes you will lose your ____ (fill in the blank). Don't make empty threats. Do what you said you'd do, and follow though! If your child is pain in the behind, or is hard to handle and you feel like you're at the ends and don't know how else to get respect back into your home, keep doing what your doing. Professionals say kids do this because they don't want you to control them, they want to control you, the home, others. Take back the control as a parent. Kids don't need control. They want control they have to wait until they are 18 and get their own place.
Click here to read: RESPECT STARTS NOW
By: By Jill Rigby Garner and Sheila Seifert.
They talk about: This trains your children to think beyond their own needs
Also,
Watch SUPPERNANNY here as angry 8yo has full control of the family and the home.
Click HERE to see SUPPERNANNY'S page and table of contents.
Or click here ----> https://www.supernanny.co.uk/Help/Article-Index.aspx
Click HERE to watch teach little tykes to be respectful.
Click HERE
BY: Jim Taylor Ph.D.
Respect Starts At Home.
Jim talks about:
Popular culture tells you that to be a good parent, you should be friends with your children. You should hang out with them, tell them anything, and treat them as equals. But when you're friends with your children, you actually detract from the strength of your relationship and surrender your influence over them. When you become friends with your children, you give up your unique relationship with them because they have many friends, but they have only two (hopefully) parents.
Respect in the home No3
Non-school days: You woke up at 8:00a and got your priorities done then your chores done
in the time you given. By 9:00a you where expected to spend time outdoors including but not limited to heart healthy activities. You hade to be home for lunch at 12:30p then clean up your mess and head back outside. Then dinner at 7:00p
Schooldays: Wake up at 7:00a and get priorities done, get school done, arrive home and start chores, then play, AKA *free time*. Bed was at 9:00pm or an hr early if you didn't wake up on time or get your chores done.
By: James Lehman, MSW
Disrespectful Child Behavior Parents Should NOT Ignore
Make no mistake, when true disrespect is directed toward a specific parent or sibling and it’s demeaning and rude, it has to be dealt with immediately. If your child doesn’t see the line between disrespect and mild rebelliousness, you need to talk with him. Sit down with him when things are going well and say:“Listen, if you want to stomp up the stairs because you’re frustrated and you think things aren’t fair, that’s okay with me. But if you start calling people names and being rude to family members, you’re going to be held accountable for that behavior. So, don’t go too far.”
If you’ve noticed that your child has already crossed the line and is behaving in an increasingly disrespectful manner, you can say:
“Look, there’s a line that I think you’re crossing when you talk to us. If you want to roll your eyes and say ‘Whatever,’ that’s fine with me. I don’t want to fight with you about that. But name-calling, blaming, and yelling are not acceptable. You are responsible not to do those things.”
Always put these ideas together for your kids: responsibility, accountability, and consequences. What that looks like is the following:
“You’re responsible to behave a certain way. I’m going to hold you accountable for that behavior, and there will be consequences if you don’t take responsibility for it.”
Just complete that circle for your child so they can see the relationship between these three important ideas.
Here’s an example. Let’s say your teenage son has called his sister a rude or hurtful name, and you’ve sent him to his room. When things have calmed down, sit down with him and say:
“You know, I’ve been hearing you say disrespectful things to your sister. And I just want to remind you that if you’re rude or hurtful to her, it’s as bad as being disrespectful to me. And the consequence for that kind of behavior is…”
And let him know what is going to happen.
Let’s see how that conversation might go:
You: “You know the consequences for disrespectful behavior in this house. I’m taking your phone away until you’re not disrespectful for four hours. You’ve got a chance to get it back a half hour before bedtime, so don’t blow it.”
Your child: “Whatever. I’m going to bed anyway.”
You: “OK, that’s fine with me. We can start the clock when you wake up.”
Your child: “That’s not fair! I need my phone tomorrow.”
You: “That’s not my problem. My problem is, how do I get you to stop talking to your sister that way? And your problem is, why are you using disrespect as a way to deal with your negative feelings? And believe me, calling your sister names doesn’t solve that problem in an effective way. That’s not acceptable in this home.”
Note that the parent here took her son’s phone away for a relatively short period of time—four hours. I believe that’s better than taking it for a day or two because now, the parent has the child working to get it back. The teen has to focus on the new behavior of being respectful. Or at least not being rude and disrespectful in order to earn back his cell phone.
In doing this, you’re creating a pathway for better behavior, and you’re working toward a culture of accountability and respect in your home.
Related content: How to Create a Culture of Accountability in Your Home
BY James Lehman, MSW
A Final Word: Respect Begins at Home
Respect begins at home. If you want your children to be respectful, you have to be respectful, too. Let’s make no bones about that. If you call your kids names, if you yell at others in a condescending way, if you make derogatory remarks to your spouse, don’t be surprised if your child behaves the same way. You’re modeling that behavior for him. Parents who tell their children, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say,” are just creating the kind of double standard that breeds negativity and resentment.
Let’s face it, if you’re doing something yourself, it gets very complicated when you ask your child to stop. Believe me, kids know hypocrisy when they see it.
An ineffective parent is a person who expects their kids to do things that they’re not willing to do themselves. You have to live your values. If you value respect, then you’ve got to behave respectfully.
