Why We Crave the Drama That Sabotages Relationships
ADHD brains crave stimulation, and they just might chase relationship drama to get it. Next time you catch yourself (or your partner) falling into these common traps — outlined here by Dr. Daniel Amen — take a step back and re-evaluate.
By Daniel Amen, M.D.
https://www.additudemag.com/too-much-drama-relationships/
By
Daniel Amen, M.D.
Many people with ADHD unnecessarily create too much drama in their lives as a way to boost adrenaline and stimulate their frontal lobes. These interpersonal “games” are not engaged in willingly; they are driven by the needs of the ADHD brain. Most deny that they engage in such behaviors, but I’ve heard about them from many patients with all 7 types of ADD.
Let’s look at these games, so you can catch yourself when you are “playing” them.
There is a reason why people with ADHD play this game: When the ADHD brain doesn’t have enough stimulation, it looks for ways to increase its activity. Being angry or negative has an immediate stimulating effect on the brain. When you get upset, your body produces increased amounts of adrenaline, raising the heart rate and brain activity.
By Daniel Amen, M.D.
“I Say the Opposite of What You Say”
People who play this game take the opposite position of the other person in the conversation, whether they believe the opposite or not. If your spouse complains that you do not listen to him, you deny it and say that he doesn’t listen to you. If a parent tells a child to clean his messy room, he says that his room isn’t messy. The need to oppose seems more important than the truth.https://www.additudemag.com/too-much-drama-relationships/
By
Daniel Amen, M.D.
Many people with ADHD unnecessarily create too much drama in their lives as a way to boost adrenaline and stimulate their frontal lobes. These interpersonal “games” are not engaged in willingly; they are driven by the needs of the ADHD brain. Most deny that they engage in such behaviors, but I’ve heard about them from many patients with all 7 types of ADD.
Let’s look at these games, so you can catch yourself when you are “playing” them.
“Let’s Have a Problem”
Many people with ADHD pick on others to get a rise out of them, to get them upset, to make them crazy. Family members of my patients say, “I’m tired of fighting with my brother (sister, mother, son). He (she) always has to have a problem.”There is a reason why people with ADHD play this game: When the ADHD brain doesn’t have enough stimulation, it looks for ways to increase its activity. Being angry or negative has an immediate stimulating effect on the brain. When you get upset, your body produces increased amounts of adrenaline, raising the heart rate and brain activity.
“I Bet I Can Get You to Yell at Me”
Many with ADHD are masters at getting others to scream and yell. Such behaviors give an adrenaline rush to the individual with ADHD, but they may lead to serious consequences, such as divorce, fights at school, or being fired from a job. This game is not planned. The individual with ADHD senses vulnerability in others and works on them until something gives.By Daniel Amen, M.D.
No comments:
Post a Comment