To much dramas in ADD/ADHD relationships By Daniel Amen, M.D.

Why We Crave the Drama That Sabotages Relationships

ADHD brains crave stimulation, and they just might chase relationship drama to get it. Next time you catch yourself (or your partner) falling into these common traps — outlined here by Dr. Daniel Amen — take a step back and re-evaluate.

By Daniel Amen, M.D.

“I Say the Opposite of What You Say”

People who play this game take the opposite position of the other person in the conversation, whether they believe the opposite or not. If your spouse complains that you do not listen to him, you deny it and say that he doesn’t listen to you. If a parent tells a child to clean his messy room, he says that his room isn’t messy. The need to oppose seems more important than the truth.















https://www.additudemag.com/too-much-drama-relationships/


By
Daniel Amen, M.D.






Many people with ADHD unnecessarily create too much drama in their lives as a way to boost adrenaline and stimulate their frontal lobes. These interpersonal “games” are not engaged in willingly; they are driven by the needs of the ADHD brain. Most deny that they engage in such behaviors, but I’ve heard about them from many patients with all 7 types of ADD.
Let’s look at these games, so you can catch yourself when you are “playing” them.

“Let’s Have a Problem”

Many people with ADHD pick on others to get a rise out of them, to get them upset, to make them crazy. Family members of my patients say, “I’m tired of fighting with my brother (sister, mother, son). He (she) always has to have a problem.”
There is a reason why people with ADHD play this game: When the ADHD brain doesn’t have enough stimulation, it looks for ways to increase its activity. Being angry or negative has an immediate stimulating effect on the brain. When you get upset, your body produces increased amounts of adrenaline, raising the heart rate and brain activity.

“I Bet I Can Get You to Yell at Me”

Many with ADHD are masters at getting others to scream and yell. Such behaviors give an adrenaline rush to the individual with ADHD, but they may lead to serious consequences, such as divorce, fights at school, or being fired from a job. This game is not planned. The individual with ADHD senses vulnerability in others and works on them until something gives.













By Daniel Amen, M.D. 

Symptoms of adult: ASD & ADD & ADHD & ODD.

Adult: ASD, ADD, ADHD, ODD,

By Janice Rodden
Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Adults

Adults with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) display a pattern of negative, hostile, and defiant behavior that lasts at least six months and includes four (or more) of the following symptoms:

• Often loses temper
• Often argues with family and coworkers
• Actively defies or refuses to comply with rules and laws
• Deliberately annoys people
• Blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
• Easily annoyed by others
• Angry and resentful
• Spiteful or vindictive

Adults with ODD are more than just aggressive and irritating from time to time. They feel mad at the world every day, and lose their temper regularly. This may manifest as verbal abuse or road rage. Adults with ODD defend themselves relentlessly when someone says they’ve done something wrong. They feel misunderstood and disliked, hemmed in, and pushed around. Constant opposition to authority figures makes it difficult for adults with ODD to keep jobs and to maintain relationships and marriages. They are particularly quick to anger, they are impatient, and they have a low tolerance for frustration.
[Self-Test: Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Adults]

Causes of ODD in Adults

ODD may be genetic. It often begins in childhood with patterns of rebellion against adults and their rules, particularly those that try to make children with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) behave in ways that their brains simply can’t. Some children with ODD outgrow the condition by age eight or nine. But about half of them continue to experience symptoms of ODD through adulthood.
These people report feeling angry all of the time, and about 40 percent of them become progressively worse and develop antisocial personality disorder. Understanding ODD can help provide a neurological explanation for gut-wrenching feelings, and is an important first step to finding treatment.
[Why Am I So Angry All the Time?]

Symptoms of ODD in Adults at Home

Your spouse seems overly argumentative. Your roommate is unnecessarily hostile. These and other common manifestations of ODD may be apparent at home:

• Always needs to win the argument with a parent or spouse
• Continues to fight against ‘the man’ — authority figures and society
• Leaves socks on the floor just because he knows it annoys his roommate
• Cited for disorderly conduct by police
• Involved in bar brawls or physical altercations in public
• Has a hair-trigger temper — the littlest thing can set her off

Symptoms of ODD in Adults at Work

These or similar manifestations of ODD may be apparent at work:

• Near constant arguments with a boss or coworkers
• Commonly feeling oppressed by office rules
• Purposely engaging in behaviors that irritate coworkers, like eating smelly foods for lunch
• Sanctioned by human resources for violating company policies
• Previously fired for pushing coworkers in heated moments
• Has meltdowns during meetings or annual reviews after receiving constructive criticism
  
  -By Janice Rodden
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  By ADDitude Editors
  
  ADHD/ADD Symptom Test for Adults:
  
  
  Check each of the following statements that apply to you…
  1. I have difficulty getting organized.
  2. When given a task, I usually procrastinate rather than doing it right away.
  3. I work on a lot of projects, but can’t seem to complete most of them.
  4. I tend to make decisions and act on them impulsively — like spending money, getting sexually involved with someone, diving into new activities, and changing plans.
  5. I get bored easily.
  6. No matter how much I do or how hard I try, I just can’t seem to reach my goals.
  
  7. I often get distracted when people are talking; I just tune out or drift off.
  8. I get so wrapped up in some things I do that I can hardly stop to take a break or switch to doing something else.
  9. I tend to overdo things even when they’re not good for me — like compulsive shopping, drinking too much, overworking, and overeating.
  10. I get frustrated easily and I get impatient when things are going too slowly.
  
  11. My self-esteem is not as high as that of others I know.
  12. I need a lot of stimulation from things like action movies and video games, new purchases, being among lively friends, driving fast or engaging in extreme sports.
  13. I tend to say or do things without thinking, and sometimes that gets me into trouble.
  14. I’d rather do things my own way than follow the rules and procedures of others.
  15. I often find myself tapping a pencil, swinging my leg, or doing something else to work off nervous energy.
   
• 16. I can feel suddenly down when I’m separated from people, projects or things that I like to be involved with.
  17. I see myself differently than others see me, and when someone gets angry with me for doing something that upset them I’m often very surprised.
  18. Even though I worry a lot about dangerous things that are unlikely to happen to me, I tend to be careless and accident prone.
  19. Even though I have a lot of fears, people would describe me as a risk taker.
  20. I make a lot of careless mistakes.
  21. I have blood relatives who suffer from ADHD, another neurological disorder, or substance abuse.
  
  If you answered yes to 15 of these questions, it is likely that you have attention deficit disorder (ADHD). However, you can still have ADHD even if you answered yes to fewer than 15 of these questions. This informal test is intended as a general guide only.
  
  What To Do Next:
  1. Take This Test: ADHD / ADD Symptoms in Adults
  
  2. Take This Test: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in Adults
  
  3. Take This Test: Emotional Hyperarousal in Adults
  
  4. Download 6 Steps to a Thorough ADHD Evaluation
  
  5. Find an ADHD specialist nearby in our ADDitude Directory
  
  6. Research Your ADHD Treatment Options
  
  7. Listen to “ADHD in Adults vs. Children” — a Free Webinar with Dr. William Dodson
  
  8. Consult Our Post-Diagnosis Guide for Adults
  -By ADDitude Editors
  
  
  
  
  
  
  By Janice Rodden, ADDitude Editors
  Common ASD symptoms in adults include:
  
  • Difficulty understanding others’ feelings
  • Trouble keeping up with conversations
  • Inflection that does not reflect feelings
  • Strict consistency to daily routines or activities
  • Deep knowledge of one particular topic
  • Trouble interpreting body language, facial expressions, or social cues
  If you think you might show signs of ASD, answer these self-test questions.
  
  1. Have you always wanted a best friend, but never found one?
  2. Do people often refer to you as “quirky” or “eccentric?”
  3. When having a conversation, do you avoid making eye contact?
  4. Are expressions like, “Curiosity killed the cat” confusing to you?
  5. Is your memory like a steel trap, even for facts that you don’t fully understand?
  6. Do you follow the same routine every day, and dislike unexpected events?
  7. Do you talk to friends at a party the same way you would talk to co-workers in the office?
  8. Are you always bumping into things, or tripping over your own feet?
  9. When you’re in a quiet place, do you make involuntary noises, like clearing your throat, over and over?
  10. Are you really good at math or music, but struggle in other areas?
  If you agreed with a majority of these statements, you may have some characteristics that resemble ASD. Take your results to a healthcare professional and request an evaluation.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

ODD Behaviors In Children

ODD BEHAVIORS,

Click here to read more.
By: Mayoclinic




Behavioral treatment of ODD involves learning skills to help build positive family interactions and to manage problematic behaviors. Additional therapy, and possibly medications, may be needed to treat related mental health disorders.


Talks about:

Signs of ODD:

Generally begin during preschool years. Sometimes ODD may develop later, but almost always before the early teen years. These behaviors cause significant impairment with family, social activities, school and work.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association, lists criteria for diagnosing ODD. The DSM-5 criteria include emotional and behavioral symptoms that last at least six months.
Angry and irritable mood:

• Often and easily loses temper
• Is frequently touchy and easily annoyed by others
• Is often angry and resentful

Argumentative and defiant behavior:

• Often argues with adults or people in authority
• Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
• Often deliberately annoys or upsets people
• Often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior

Vindictiveness:

• Is often spiteful or vindictive
• Has shown spiteful or vindictive behavior at least twice in the past six months

ODD can vary in severity:

• Mild. Symptoms occur only in one setting, such as only at home, school, work or with peers.
• Moderate. Some symptoms occur in at least two settings.
• Severe. Some symptoms occur in three or more settings.

For some children, symptoms may first be seen only at home, but with time extend to other settings, such as school and with friends.

---Mayoclinic








CLICK HERE TO READ, ODD: What Is Child ODD?
By: Childmind.org

It talks about:



Children with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) display extreme resistance to authority, conflict with parents, outbursts of temper and spitefulness with peers. This guide outlines the signs a child might have ODD, how it is diagnosed in children and treatment options.

ODD: What to Look For

Children and adolescents with ODD are very quick to lose their tempers, often disobedient at home or at school, apt to ignore or rebel against rules, quick to blame others for mistakes or misbehavior, and prone to annoy others and be easily annoyed. Within limits, every one of these behaviors is typical in children, but those with ODD have problems containing these impulses, and act out so often that it compromises their ability to get along with others. The extraordinary level of oppositional behavior means children with ODD are sometimes described as having a “reflexive ‘No!’”—they will refuse to cooperate even before they know what is being asked of them. Symptoms of ODD can become apparent as early as pre-school or much later, in adolescence.

-By: Childmind.org

ODD, & what to Look For In Children:

Children and adolescents with ODD are very quick to lose their tempers, often disobedient at home or at school, apt to ignore or rebel against rules, quick to blame others for mistakes or misbehavior, and prone to annoy others and be easily annoyed.

Within limits, every one of these behaviors is typical in children, but those with ODD have problems containing these impulses, and act out so often that it compromises their ability to get along with others.

The extraordinary level of oppositional behavior means children with ODD are sometimes described as having a “reflexive ‘No!’”—they will refuse to cooperate even before they know what is being asked of them. Symptoms of ODD can become apparent as early as pre-school or much later, in adolescence.

-By:
Childmind.org





















https://childmind.org/guide/oppositional-defiant-disorder/









How to Tell If Your Child Has Oppositional Defiant Disorder
By: Jeffrey Bernstein Ph.D.





Talks about:

All kids display defiant behavior from time to time, but it’s possible that your child has a condition called oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). Don’t be intimidated by the term ODD, which may sound ominous and clinical to parents. ODD symptoms include chronic anger, blaming others for mistakes, being touchy, or easily annoyed and vindictive.
To qualify for an ODD diagnosis, your child must do things like talk back, refuse to do chores, use bad language, and say things like “You can’t make me” or “You’re never fair” nearly every day for at least six months. In other words, kids with ODD have oppositional attitudes and behaviors that are more of a pattern than an exception to the rule.

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE