ADD/ADHD Spouses Say: ADD/ADHD Makes Them Feel Powerless In Life

When Spouses Say ADD/ADHD Makes Them Feel Powerless:

The big thing about ADD and ADHD is that your behavior is not fully controllable, making that individual feel powerless to all in their lives. We scoured the internet for answers and these are the answers we got.


1. My ADD/ADHD has total control over me and I feel like nothing in life is in my control.

2. Q: Is over thinking a symptom of ADD or ADHD? A: No, it could just be anxiety.  -Physiatrist

3. Melissa Orlov writes: What it feels like to have ADHD, Click here to read more.

4. It is like your brain has all the control over your thoughts and actions, even when know they aren't true, your brain makes them true to you.

5. You have to live in your own fairy tail because life is to much for me, I'll go crazy if I don't live in my own pretend world away from real life.

6. You'll never understand what it's like to have ADD or ADHD, our brains work in an autistic way... not a normal way like yours.

7. I just want you to except me and understand my ADD/ADHD doesn't define who I really am on the inside.

8. Please keep researching on ADD and ADHD so that you understand me and help the both of us with this.

9. Don't treat me like a child, but treat me like a child because my ADD/ADHD has all the control over my brain.

10. Remember you're in a relationship with my ADD/ADHD not who I am at my core. Remember who I am at my core.

11. I hide away because I feel safe from the world that has always been against me and corrected me. I don't like being corrected because it reminds me of all the things I can't ever get right, and that is frustrating because it reminds me that my ADD/ADHD controls everything about my life.


12. If I am trying, at least I am trying instead of not willing to do nothing. My behaviors are my ADD/ADHD, not me, remember you're in love with me, but in a relationship with ADD/ADHD self.

13. Please don't ever give up on me or us. I hate that I have ADD/ADHD.

14. Making me daily schedules and walking me by  my hand is helpful. But it can also make me feel like a child too. Depending my mood is depending on the reaction to it that you'll get.

15. I want total control of everything in our lives because it is the only way I feel I have any control at all. My ADD/ADHD has utterly full control over me and that is how I feel better about myself.

16. What ADHD Feels Like. IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE MY BRAIN IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL. By: adhdcollective. Click here to read more.

17. ADD/ADHD Taming Your Inner Control Freak. Click here to read.

18. ADD/ADHD Makes Me Feel Powerless. By: Jenna Dodson
 Click here to read more.

19. My thoughts are always there, they hoard up my brain 24/7.

20. There are many things that they share. But we shall stop here. Please feel free to leave your comment below if you want to add your story.















ADD/ADHD EFFECTS ON MARRIAGE. Tips for increasing empathy in your relationship.
Study up on ADD & ADHD. You can never do enough scouring.
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/adult-adhd-attention-deficit-disorder-and-relationships.htm
















 

  

When I learned about ADD/ADHD & GHOSTING

I was never not a believer in ADD/ADHD, but I did always think and feel it was always used as a crutch for those who have it. It wasn't until around our 1st anniversary when I started to truly understand it. My husband was one of the many in life who seemed to use it as a crutch. But once I learned and researched for 8 hours every day for weeks, I was able to understood that the ADD and ADHD behaviors are un-controllable. They only have a small part of control over it, the rest takes over their brain functioning, thoughts, words, action, ect. Once I learned what I have, I felt bad for thinking things about my husband  that I did before I learned about the condition.

I'd think things like; he's a lazy slob just get up and clean your messes, he's so cruel to others especially me and others even see it, what he calls clean our guests and myself refer to as a hoarded pig house, and other things. You are maybe wondering why would I feel bad about saying the truth?
Well...I feel bad because people with ADD/ADHD can't help it really. The ADD/ADHD spouses all said the same thing mine did. ADD/ADHD PARTNERS SAY: It's not that I don't want it cleaned up, I do want it clean. I just don't want to do it because my brain has a million thoughts constantly racing and my brain says I have better things to do with my time. We (non-ADD/ADHD partner) will never be able to understand this fully, but understand it can't be cured, none of the ADD or ADHD behaviors can be cured. But they can be treated and worked on. And as the Non-ADD/ADHD partner we have things on our part we can do too, to break the cycles it brings into our marriage that makes us respond back the way that we do. Just like the rest of us non-ADD/ADHD partners all say... my spouse and I always fight about the same thing over and over, but even to my spouse who has the ADD/ADHD is the same as yours and doesn't always notice this. Remember, your partner has bad memory, so be nice.


I also learned that it was more then just my ADD/ADHD partner who ghosts me. That all Non-ADD/ADHD partners suffer from all kinds of forms of their ADD/ADHD spouse GOHSTING THEM.


If your not familiar with what ghosting is, click HERE to read, By: Susan McQuillan, MS, RDN








Have you ever watched 50 first dates,  with Adam Sandler ?
The movie is about how Henry sets his heart on romancing Lucy & she has short-term memory loss; so she can't remember anything that happened the day before. So every morning he has to swoop her off her feet again. Her friends and family are very protective of her so he must convince them that he's in it for love, not sex.
Well treat it like that. I do, and it has caused fights to go down by over 80%.  When I go about it like Henry did everyday minus the videos and things, my marriage had way less fights in it, no joke.
Another thing I do is; I listen to my husband to listen, not to respond. If I have comments to respond, I keep them to myself until I had time to process them to see if they are necessary to say or not. This too is what I do alongside of the 50 first dates thing.

Remember your ADD/ADHD spouse is a good person & ( THEY DON'T WANT THEIR ADD/ADHD TO DEFINE THEM). so don't let their ADD/ADHD behaviors define them. They are humans too, we all make mistakes, but most importantly...their brains aren't like ours, so be their support and guidance that your spouse needs you to be for him/her.
Life as the Non-ADD/ADHD spouse is rough, I know trust me. But except it as a gift not a curse, and the more you learn about ADD and ADHD the better you can do on your part, too.
Don't use the GIFT as a crutch or excuse. The behavior still needs to be corrected, but lay off your spouse as long as he/she is at least trying. That is all that should matter! Some say trying is not doing....but guess what?...…..trying is better then nothing, and ADD & ADHD is not curable. Get your spouse on a PROPER ADD/ADHD diet! Go the natural way with supplements, not the chemical RX's. For the sake of your spouse, the man/woman you LOVE, do them right. Do your part. If your partner sees you trying, it encourages them to try too, even to try harder. And make sure you have a support group, or an ADD/ADHD coach to help support the both of you.


Remember you made that wedding vow too.
I vow to support you, push you, inspire you, and, above all, love you, for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, as long as we both shall live. I take you to be my spouse. I promise to choose you every day, to love you in word and deed, to do the hard work of making now into always.






CLICK HERE TO READ: Why You Lash Out — Sometimes For No Good Reason
By: Sandy Maynard

Talks about: ADHD folks are hypersensitive to criticism, real or imagined.