Behaviors associated with autism spectrum disorder can look a lot like ADHD. By Eileen Costello

By Eileen Costello






Talks about,


Poor Social Interaction, Signs Your Child May Have Asperger’s Syndrome, Asperger’s Syndrome Causes, Warning Signs, Restricted repertoire of activities and interests.

Asperger’s Diagnosis and Treatment

Getting Evaluated for Asperger’s Syndrome: Parents who suspect that their child has Asperger’s syndrome should consult with a developmental and behavioral pediatrician, a child psychiatrist, or a psychologist with expertise in the autism spectrum. The evaluation will likely involve observing your child and talking to you about his development. You may be asked about your child’s social interaction and communication skills. Your child may undergo several tests to determine her level of intellect and academic abilities, and to assess her abilities in the areas of speech, language, and visual-motor problem-solving.


-By Eileen Costello






























































By Eileen Costello
https://www.additudemag.com/autism-aspergers-adhd-symptoms-in-children/

Another time waster for a lot of non-ADD partners is: Knocking on the bathroom door telling their partner that it’s time to get out of the shower

One of my safe places with my husband is not only inn his arms, but holding onto his upper arm is also my safe zone with him. When we are out and about I love holding my husbands hand but there are just times that I just need my safe zone even though I feel completely safe with where we are. It is just a woman thing I guess. Between all the females I know and the ones I have read about all say we can't stand the way men do things inside the home. It's not that they suck at it nearly, it's just the kind of jobs they do at it. Most wives and mothers like not just everyday life to be struggle free, organized, clean, proper, but our homes functioning's too. Men think they understand this and say they want the same. But studies have found that 99% of wives say as we are here. I am not going to lie, I have seen professionals and was told I do have slight OCD, but in the way that most people with OCD are. There is no nitpicking, but rather an eye for detail per-say. I am not picky that the towels are perfectly folded, or that the toilet paper is exactly straight that is hanging in the roll in the bathroom. No, I am not like that at all. But when I was shown 3 circles, and other things by the professionals in early 2017 I was able to pick right away what ones were different and how.

I was told that I have great eye for detail and that is how I go about my surroundings too, whether home or in public, or work, and more. Did it ever drive me nuts how my husband would fold clothes, hand clothes, fold towels and rags, ect? Yes it did. But that dropped down fast even before I knew about his ADD/ADHD especially the way I know it know. But even before it was strongly recognized. The reason it didn't bother me any longer was simply this.
I thought to myself; He doesn't fold them as I do and that is totally ok! at least he is folding them, and that's all that matters. The same thing goes for other things he does around the house. Not just the typical man job as thousands out there refer to it as, but also the ADD/ADHD ways that many others with an ADD/ADHD partner says just as we are here, too. In our home we don't use the toxic and deadly chemicals as cleaners as they had been used in the past and almost killed 2 children and did kill some of our pets. These had been the typical cleaning chemicals most homes these days have.....& think outside of the box and stop being a sheeple because "they are called chemicals for a reason folks."  The Medical staff's said to never allow such use, and said it is the cause for one of my children's breathing issues as chemical cleaners are permanent life time injuries and also cause cancer, too. I also worked for a professional cleaning company Healthy Clean who made us take tests from the FDA on the dangers and harms of home chemical cleaning supplies. Whoever passed their tests had been hired on, & whoever didn't was turned around and sent out the door. I worked for them for years and I loved it.

Cleaning products can release a plethora of chemicals into the air, i

Cleaners cause asthma and cancer:

Click HERE to read the dangers.

Scroll that page, read it. The Dr's years ago sent me to these pages after they told me (in 2008) to STOP using chemical cleaners.

----------------------------------------------------


TALKS ABOUT,

The effects of these chemicals than adults: Studies have shown that infants exposed in the womb to cleaning products used by their mothers may suffer lower birth weight, lower IQ, and wheezing and respiratory symptoms that may persist throughout childhood.

Health Concerns

Many cleaning products, including spray cleaners and disinfecting wipes, contain asthmagens—chemicals that can either worsen asthma or cause asthma in someone who never previously had it. Studies show that using traditional cleaning sprays as rarely as once a week can increase your risk of developing adult-onset asthma. Common asthmagens and respiratory irritants in cleaning products include quats, ethanolamines, glutaral and sodium hypochlorite (chlorine bleach).
Other ingredients and impurities frequently found in cleaning products have been linked to cancer. All-purpose products and dish and laundry detergents often use ethoxlated surfactants for soil removal. These chemicals may contain carcinogenic impurities, such as 1,4-dioxane and ethylene oxide. Some products contain volatile organic compounds, or VOCs, that can come from botanical oils and extracts. A group of VOCs, called terpenes, can react with ozone indoors to form formaldehyde, a known human carcinogen. Preservatives that release formaldehyde are also commonly added to multi-use products.
Use EWG’s Guide to Healthy Cleaning to find products without troubling ingredients.

Environmental Concerns

Many cleaning chemicals are not only harmful to human health, but also put animals and the environment at risk. This includes triclosan, an ingredient approved for use in floor waxes and sealers, as well as many cleaning supplies, like sponges and reusable household wipes. Although the market has started to shift away from using triclosan, the troubling ingredient may still be found in older dishwashing liquids still on store shelves.

 Triclosan is not fully removed by wastewater treatment and can harm aquatic animals like fish and frogs as it is discharged and persists in waterways. The chemical can also breakdown to form toxic, carcinogenic substances, like dioxins and chloroform. Scientists are also concerned about triclosan’s contribution to growing bacterial resistance.

Triclosan Health Effects

The antibacterial compound Triclosan has been linked to numerous human health problems. Exposures come mainly by absorption through the skin or through the lining of the mouth. These exposures have resulted in contact dermatitis, or skin irritation, and an increase in allergic reactions, especially in children.


Go HERE to read more, By: beyondpesticides.org

Talks about,



While products with this antibacterial agent claim to promote good health, these claims are indeed misleading. Triclosan does not provide any additional health benefits to the consumer, but it does pose risks to human health, most of which remain unknown.

Chemicals (CDC, 2009, 2010)

• The Impact of Bisphenol A and Triclosan on Immune Parameters in the US Population, NHANES 2003-2006. (Environ Health Perspect, 2010)
• Effects of Triclosan on the normal intestinal microbiota and on susceptibility to experimental murine colitis (FASEB J, 2009)
• Triclosan in plasma and milk from Swedish nursing mothers and their exposure via personal care products (Science of the Total Environment, 2006)
• Triclosan, a commonly used bactericide found in human milk and in the aquatic environment in Sweden (Chemosphere, 2002)
• Risk assessment of Triclosan [Irgasan(r)]in human breast milk (Food and Chemical Toxicology, 2007)
• Urinary Concentrations of Triclosan in the U.S. Population: 2003–2004 (Environmental Health Perspectives, 2007)
• Pharmacokinetics of Triclosan following oral ingestion in humans (J. of Tox. and Environ. Health, 2006)
• The influence of age and gender on Triclosan concentrations in Australian human blood serum (Science of the Total Environment, 2007)
  
  

Evidence of endocrine disruption

Triclosan is a potent inhibitor of estradiol and estrone sulfonation in sheep placenta (Environ Int. 2010)

Some flame retardants and the antimicrobials Triclosan and triclocarban enhance the androgenic activity in vitro (Chemosphere. 2010)

Triclosan Exposure Modulates Estrogen-Dependent Responses in the Female Wistar Rat (Toxicol. Sci. 2010)

Short-term Exposure to Triclosan Decreases Thyroxine In Vivo via Upregulation of Hepatic Catabolism in Young Long-Evans Rats (Toxicol. Sci. 2010)

Alteration of testicular steroidogenesis and histopathology of reproductive system in male rats treated with Triclosan (Reprod Toxicol. 2009 )

Estrogenic and androgenic activity of Triclosan in breast cancer cells (Journal of Applied Toxicology, 2007)

Short-term in vivo exposure to the water contaminant Triclosan: Evidence for disruption of thyroxine (Environmental Toxicology and Pharmacology, 2007)

Environmental oestrogens, cosmetics and breast cancer (Best Practice & Research Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 2006)

The effects of Triclosan on puberty and thyroid hormones in male wistar rats (Toxicological Sciences, 2008)

Other Health Effects:

• Determination of Parabens and Triclosan in Indoor Dust Using Matrix Solid-Phase Dispersion and Gas Chromatography with Tandem Mass Spectrometry (Analytical Chemistry,2007)
• Effect of Triclosan (TRN) on energy-linked functions of rat liver mitochondria (Tox. Letters, 2005)
• Early-life exposure to antibacterials…(Clinical and Experimental Allergy, 2003)
• Antibacterial Household Products: Cause for Concern (Emerging Infectious Disease, 2001)
• Allergic contact dermatitis from Triclosan in antibacterial handwashes (Contact Dermatitis, 2001)

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It is sad to know that most American's don't know about so much. Drinks, Foods, Personal Care, Shampoos ect, Toothpastes, Deodorants, Soaps, and many, many, many, more common house hold items that are killing your children, pets, and you. 


So why are most people un-aware of this? We will tell you why. They want to make money off of you. You're nothing to them but $$$$$$$, so are your kids and you pets. They could care less if it cause your infant child because you as the consumer have lack of knowledge it actually becomes legally your fault for not only not listening to the WARNINGS and ingredients, but the lack of being educated.

The definition of chemical is: 

chem·i·cal

Dictionary result for chemical

/ˈkemək(ə)l/

adjective

adjective: chemical

1. 1.

   relating to chemistry, or the interactions of substances as studied in chemistry.

   "the chemical composition of the atmosphere"

   • relating to chemicals.

     "chemical treatments for killing fungi"
   • relating to, involving, or denoting the use of poison gas or other chemicals as weapons of war.

     "the manufacture of chemical weapons"

noun

noun: chemical; plural noun: chemicals

1. 1.

   a compound or substance that has been purified or prepared, especially artificially.

   "never mix disinfectant with other chemicals"

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So why would people use this? And why would we support such criminals?
I no longer work for the company, and am the Home Maker, Wife, Mom, at home.

There are always going to be things we clash with our partners one for some reason or another. If we didn't life would be more so of boring, chaos, dysfunctional, in the ADD/ADHD life. AS the Non-ADD/ADHD spouse, we work hard to keeping ourselves strong mentally. We have a big and hard life that only other Non-ADD/ADHD partners can truly understand the day-to-day life of it. It never just as it seems because living in a home with it is by fare different then the outsiders THINK they know about it. We have to be the one who keeps thing organized, clean, functional, making appointments for the kids and ADD/ADHD partner, giving RX that Dr gave, budgeting, and literally everything.....even the every day to day small things, because in an ADD/ADHD home those things are big things and they too can turn into chaos and dysfunction FAST. 



By Mike Fedel says: 


Attitude: Think of ADHD as a Cultural Difference That Will Always Exist 

We’ve had a few international members and couples from many different types of families. Some cultures have stricter expectations about the roles of husbands and wives. Families have different views about “appropriate” behavior. When you marry your partner, you marry their upbringing too. Everyone must adjust.

Some members compared that with adjustments they’ve made to live with their ADHD partner. It’s a useful model. It helps us stop asking who’s right or wrong. They aren’t right or wrong. They are different. And they will always be with us. These aren’t things to “fix.” You must integrate them into the relationship.

Thinking of these as cultural differences lets you feel less offended. The behaviors aren’t directed at you. It’s not that he doesn’t love you or doesn’t care. He grew up in a different world, with a different frame of reference.


Action: Boundaries, Part 1 – Set Them and Keep Them

You’ve heard it a million times but what does it mean? And, does it work? There are good books, podcasts, and videos about setting boundaries. Instead of talking about it, I’ll share some of our members stories. Let’s look at boundaries they set and the impact it had: 

• Kaye’s husband had problems with his headset. It made it hard for her to understand him when he called. Finally, she told him that instead of repeating that she couldn’t hear him, she would hang up. He should call from another phone or text instead. It worked. He took care of the problem. No fighting or threats. A firm boundary. 
• Several members talked about their partners making them late for events. In Angela’s case, her (ADHD) husband was the one who cared if they were late, but he relied on her to push him out the door on time.  When she said she wasn’t going to do that anymore, he complained and argued but she stood her ground. He stepped up and took responsibility for making sure they were on time. 

A few others said they were quitting the Timekeeper job, too. With mixed results. In some cases, the husband stepped up and paid more attention. In others, though, they’re still arriving late, but have let go of feeling responsible.



Action: Boundaries, Part 2 – Establish Some BASELINE Rules 
This is another way of setting boundaries. Be clear. Be consistent. Members have had success when they used some of the following:



• You can’t be rude to people and blame it on your ADHD. If you do something impulsive and it has an impact – own up to it and apologize. 
  
• Please refrain from using the words “I promise I will…” We both know the odds are you’ll slip up at some point. Then, you’ll feel bad, guilty and ashamed, and I’ll feel angry. Say something more like “I’ll commit not to do X for the next six weeks” and revisit it then. Or “If I do Y again, you have my permission to call me on it.” And DO call them on it.
  
  
• When you say things like, “Let’s do a movie this weekend”, it’s not a commitment. It’s only a commitment if you put it in the calendar. And don’t put it in the calendar unless you’re committed.
  
  
• If things are getting too heated, have a code word that means “let’s not have this fight right now, let’s talk about it later.” (More on this below.)
  
• I am not your alarm clock or your calendar. If you have to be somewhere, it’s up to you to get there.
  
  
• When you’re talking to me, please talk to me like there’s another person in the room listening. You treat me better when there’s someone else who might hear what you say.  
Would any of these be helpful for you? 





-By Mike Fedel says: 

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As the non-ADD/ADHD partner your probably nodding your head und and down with you have that little that in your head that says: I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS FEELS. 




.
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Don't tell her it's time to get out of the shower
By: David D. Nowell Ph.D.

Another time waster for a lot of non-ADD partners is knocking on the bathroom door, telling their partner that it’s time to get out of the shower. When your ADD partner is in the shower and soaking in all this awesome sensory information - the warm water, the smell of the soap – she may lose track of something as abstract as time.

One strategy for managing this problem is a device called the Shower Coach. Essentially a sand timer which attaches to the shower wall, providing a visual notification that time is passing. The intent of this strategy is for the ADD partner to be independent for timing her shower.

Another strategy for managing the duration of a shower is to develop a Spotify playlist on your phone. Just a couple of three songs, enough for a 5-10 minute shower, and you know that at the end of the first song you have enough time for a shampoo and at the close of the second song it’s time to be wrapping it up, and rinsing your hair.


Tip #2: Let your ADD partner tackle clearly-defined and time-limited household projects while you take on longer-term detailed-oriented tasks.

When we’re presented with a sink full of dishes it’s pretty clear what needs to be done. How do you know when the job is complete? When you can see the bottom of the sink. This is an example of a domestic task which an individual with executive dysfunction and disorganization can manage. On the other hand, he may find it more difficult to tackle tasks like managing longer-term financial investments and keeping up with the bills. It’s not exactly clear when you need to start these chores and when the task is done. So when you’re dividing tasks, let your ADD partner tackle the defined, time limited projects that happen on a daily basis. Folding laundry, walking the dogs, and loading the dish-washer, for example.  And you take on the longer term, detail oriented tasks.



Tip #3:Ask your ADHD partner for what you want.

Use behavioral terms, and be specific, asking in advance for what you want. Describe what success would look like for you.

“Honey we’ve got a big anniversary coming up this weekend and here is what Id like:  I want us to be home by five-thirty. I want us to have a quick, pleasant conversation about our day with empty hands, phones in pockets. Then I want us so to be in the car in time to get to the restaurant for a seven-thirty dinner reservation.”

If you ask for what you want in a relationship, does it guarantee that you’ll get it? Obviously not .. the intent of this tip is to identify what success would look like for you, to plainly “put it out there”, and to give him a fighting chance to demonstrate that behavior.



Take a moment from time to time in the middle of your frustration to remember what drew you to your partner.

So let me summarize. For the non-ADD partner in this relationship


• Don’t do something for your ADD partner that a device or an application could manage.
• Let your ADD partner tadkle the defined, time-limited projects and you can take on the longer-term detail oriented tasks.
• Ask for what you want in advance, using behavioral language.
• And remember what drew you to your partner in the first place.




By: David D. Nowell Ph.D.



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The Non-ADD/ADHD spouse has a lot on their plate every minute of every day. Have you ever been a manager at your job and you're paid well because of the time management you must provide, at the job you work 40+ hrs a week at? Well that is what it is like for the Non-ADD/ADHD spouse like myself. We are literally working from the time to awake to the time we fall asleep. But even then we get awoken because someone in the family needs us because they are sick and need your help. Life as the Non-ADD/ADHD spouse is working without getting paid.

We ARE the hardest working people out there because our jobs NEVER end, no time for breaks, or days off, nope. And we do it proudly for our family and for our spouse.
NO-ONE except another Non-ADD/ADHD spouse can ever truly understand what the real life of it is.  Evenif it looks like we are having me time, relaxing time.....we are NOT. Because even if we are in the shower alone, we have to do it all mentally so that we don't have chaos going on, or continuing in the home when we get out of the shower. No joke, us Non-ADD/ADHD partners are working around the clock by the minutes day in and day out.




Let me share something here. Go HERE to read. 
Interview with Melissa Orlov

By Keath Low

Q: What about the non-ADHD partner?
What is helpful for the ADHD partner to
 understand about the experiences of his or her
non-ADHD partner?


The non-ADHD partner's experience is generally a progression from happy to confused to angry to hopeless. Non-ADD/ADHD partner might feel:

• Lonely because her spouse is too distracted to pay any attention
• Angry and emotionally blocked - anger at the untreated ADHD partner's inability to change their interactions or follow up on responsibilities can permeate many interactions.
   In an effort to control this, a non-ADHD partner may "bottle it up inside."
• Stressed out - too many responsibilities, not enough help, and too much anger can make the relationship toxic for a non-ADHD partner
• Exhausted, hopeless and sad - it can be a real struggle living with a person who is not managing his ADHD. After a while, the repetitive nature of how unmanaged ADHD symptoms show up in the relationship leads to feeling as if nothing will ever change.
  
  
A: As with the ADHD spouse, the non-ADHD experience runs along a spectrum from mildly problematic to unmanageable. At the milder end of the spectrum is a spouse who finds herself surprised and unhappy that her ADHD husband isn't paying much attention to her. At the unmanageable end is the partner who feels completely overburdened by the responsibilities she has assumed because she thinks her spouse can't do them. She dislikes herself and her husband and is chronically angry and frustrated by her plight.





BY: Interview with Melissa Orlov

By Keath Low










So ladies and gentlemen, if you're the partner of an ADD/ADHD spouse, we all understand each other and know how chaotic and dysfunctional it makes everyday life, and the home life. But remember who you married, remember why you married him/her. You married because of love and you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. So whether you're the Non-ADD/ADHD spouse, or you're the ADD/ADHD spouse, you can't give up no matter what. Be a real man or woman, and make it work. As the Non-ADD/ADHD partner, trust me I understand that they are hard to live with and all. But for goodness sakes....that's your partner, love them, except them, and they should do the same for you too, but you both need to be doing it.



mar·riage
Dictionary result for marriage
/ˈmerij/
noun
noun: marriage; plural noun: marriages
1. 1.

   the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship (historically and in some jurisdictions specifically a union between a man and a woman).

   "a happy marriage"

   synonyms:

   wedding, wedding ceremony, marriage ceremony, nuptials, union; More

   
   
   
   
   
   
   If one of you gives up, or one of you is an immature little kid and you ghost-out
   in any form of ghosting.. then you are only showing that your love was fake. &  last but not least you only used your partner.  You're adults in a marriage. Not teenagers in bf/gf relationship.
   
   
   The ADD/ADHD mind is confusing to the rest of the world... Yes we know.
   But treat each other as you'd like to be treated be them. So many ADD/ADHD marriages fail. Experts say that something like 2% survive. Wine this, don't lose this!
   
   
   
   























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• 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• 
  

Ways to be a better husband

Go HERE to read. By: by NewsCred

TALKS ABOUT,

For any man who's a husband, there’s a good chance you've upset your wife at some point.

For some of you, it was just this morning. And at some time, you may have heard, “I don’t feel like you love me,” or “We don’t do anything anymore,” or “You need to get your stuff together.”

Being a man does not come with a manual — and neither does being a good husband.
So what does it take to be a good husband, and in turn, have a happy marriage?

If you want to make sure you're doing a great job as a husband, then there are some things you'll want to make sure you're doing — that will result in a happy marriage, too.







How to be a better husband,
https://www.allprodad.com/10-tips-for-becoming-a-better-husband/






Secrets to be a better husband
https://marriagemax.com Go HERE to read.







Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today

By Ann Brenoff


Talks about,


Practice honesty, even when you’re ashamed.

If you have maxed out a credit card or two and find yourself hiding the bills each month, you can bet it’s going to come back to bite you. Eventually, whether you’re applying for a home loan or simply talking about the costs of summer vacation, these kinds of money issues will either be brought to light by a credit report or by the simple fact you can’t afford a trip away. Although infidelity usually happens in bed, it also can happen with money. And it will be a tough road gaining back your spouse’s trust if you’ve lied about overspending.

Along that same vein, if you feel you aren’t connecting with your partner the way you used to, you need to say something — now. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. I once let communication issues fester for months on end, failing to verbalize my displeasure, and my husband and I wound up in marriage counseling for nearly a year. It took a third party — and a real investment on our part — to get us back on track. If I had not kept telling myself that things would get better on their own, we might not have reached what I call the danger zone.

4. Take care of your appearance.

With many years and a few kids under your belt, it’s easy to let your appearance slide. Think about when you first met your partner. Would you have walked around in stained sweatpants and without brushing your teeth? My guess is no. I’m not saying you have to look like Julianne Moore every time you settle in for a night of TV. But I’ve seen too many couples transform from Cliff and Clair Huxtable into Dan and Roseanne Connor — with disastrous repercussions.

Sometimes my husband will say “wow, you look nice” as I’m walking out the door for a girls’ night out. At least pay your spouse the same courtesy you do your friends by fixing yourself up for him or her every once in awhile.






HOW CAN I TREAT MY WIFE BETTER

By: All Pro Dads,

GO HERE TO READ MORE



Talks about,




Even though such a hypothesis involves generalizations, there’s a lot of truth to the over-arching idea. It’s a theory that goes a long way towards explaining the desperate lengths and compromises made by women and men looking for both love and respect.

As All Pro Dads, it’s critically important that we approach the respect challenge with some careful thought. So, up front, let’s consider a couple of points: First, respect cannot be demanded. You will always be disappointed. Just like the coach who yells and intimidates, threats and coercion are always lose-lose. Respect is earned. Next, understand that fear and respect are not the same thing. Now that the preliminaries are out of the way, here are 7 ways to earn your wife’s respect.

ODD Behaviors In Children

ODD BEHAVIORS,

Click here to read more.
By: Mayoclinic




Behavioral treatment of ODD involves learning skills to help build positive family interactions and to manage problematic behaviors. Additional therapy, and possibly medications, may be needed to treat related mental health disorders.


Talks about:

Signs of ODD:

Generally begin during preschool years. Sometimes ODD may develop later, but almost always before the early teen years. These behaviors cause significant impairment with family, social activities, school and work.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association, lists criteria for diagnosing ODD. The DSM-5 criteria include emotional and behavioral symptoms that last at least six months.
Angry and irritable mood:

• Often and easily loses temper
• Is frequently touchy and easily annoyed by others
• Is often angry and resentful

Argumentative and defiant behavior:

• Often argues with adults or people in authority
• Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
• Often deliberately annoys or upsets people
• Often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior

Vindictiveness:

• Is often spiteful or vindictive
• Has shown spiteful or vindictive behavior at least twice in the past six months

ODD can vary in severity:

• Mild. Symptoms occur only in one setting, such as only at home, school, work or with peers.
• Moderate. Some symptoms occur in at least two settings.
• Severe. Some symptoms occur in three or more settings.

For some children, symptoms may first be seen only at home, but with time extend to other settings, such as school and with friends.

---Mayoclinic








CLICK HERE TO READ, ODD: What Is Child ODD?
By: Childmind.org

It talks about:



Children with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) display extreme resistance to authority, conflict with parents, outbursts of temper and spitefulness with peers. This guide outlines the signs a child might have ODD, how it is diagnosed in children and treatment options.

ODD: What to Look For

Children and adolescents with ODD are very quick to lose their tempers, often disobedient at home or at school, apt to ignore or rebel against rules, quick to blame others for mistakes or misbehavior, and prone to annoy others and be easily annoyed. Within limits, every one of these behaviors is typical in children, but those with ODD have problems containing these impulses, and act out so often that it compromises their ability to get along with others. The extraordinary level of oppositional behavior means children with ODD are sometimes described as having a “reflexive ‘No!’”—they will refuse to cooperate even before they know what is being asked of them. Symptoms of ODD can become apparent as early as pre-school or much later, in adolescence.

-By: Childmind.org

ODD, & what to Look For In Children:

Children and adolescents with ODD are very quick to lose their tempers, often disobedient at home or at school, apt to ignore or rebel against rules, quick to blame others for mistakes or misbehavior, and prone to annoy others and be easily annoyed.

Within limits, every one of these behaviors is typical in children, but those with ODD have problems containing these impulses, and act out so often that it compromises their ability to get along with others.

The extraordinary level of oppositional behavior means children with ODD are sometimes described as having a “reflexive ‘No!’”—they will refuse to cooperate even before they know what is being asked of them. Symptoms of ODD can become apparent as early as pre-school or much later, in adolescence.

-By:
Childmind.org





















https://childmind.org/guide/oppositional-defiant-disorder/









How to Tell If Your Child Has Oppositional Defiant Disorder
By: Jeffrey Bernstein Ph.D.





Talks about:

All kids display defiant behavior from time to time, but it’s possible that your child has a condition called oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). Don’t be intimidated by the term ODD, which may sound ominous and clinical to parents. ODD symptoms include chronic anger, blaming others for mistakes, being touchy, or easily annoyed and vindictive.
To qualify for an ODD diagnosis, your child must do things like talk back, refuse to do chores, use bad language, and say things like “You can’t make me” or “You’re never fair” nearly every day for at least six months. In other words, kids with ODD have oppositional attitudes and behaviors that are more of a pattern than an exception to the rule.

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

Symptom Checker Childs Mind

Symptom Checker

Are you worried about your child?



https://childmind.org/symptomchecker/

What Clutter Does to Your Brain ADD/ADHD

Love It, Use It, or Lose It

 

Click HERE to read more.


Talks about:

By Susan Lasky, M.A.,  BCC, SCAC
Clutter-shame is a complaint of many adults with ADHD.
1. We have many interests and find it hard to set boundaries (on what we buy, what we keep, and where we put things).
2. It is easy for us to see possibility and potential, so we tend to hold on to things “just in case.”
 

3.We struggle with systems and getting things done, so it’s easy to wind up with stacks of mail or piles of laundry.




https://www.psycom.net/adhd-and-relationships/

Work on Communication Skills

Communication often breaks down when one partner has ADHD. More often than not, the behaviors on the surface (i.e. she’s always late for dinner) mask a deeper issue (he feels underappreciated because she never shows up on time.)
Couples also tend to fall into a “parent-child” dynamic, where the non-ADHD partner feels responsible for everything and the ADHD partner feels like a child. This chronic pattern of micromanaging and underachievement can result in feelings of shame and insecurity for the ADHD partner. It also increases the risk of depression.
When couples work to improve communication skills, they can restore balance to the relationship. Try these strategies to communicate effectively with your partner:

• Use “I feel” statements to focus on feelings and avoid blame
• Communicate face-to-face as often as possible – nonverbal cues are important
• Repeat and rephrase – to avoid allowing your mind to wander, repeat what your partner says and rephrase for clarification
• Ask questions
• Text yourself important takeaways from the conversation (especially if your partner asks you to assist with certain tasks)
• Talk about how your symptoms impair your ability to remember things or follow through on tasks. Sharing your struggles helps your partner understand how ADHD impacts your behavior
• Hold eye contact when listening
• For long conversations, consider a fidget toy like a squeeze ball to keep your mind engaged

• Focus on teamwork. To create balance in a relationship, two partners have to work together. Having ADHD doesn’t mean that you can’t find balance; it means that you have to rely on open and honest communication and feedback to find ways to help one another.
  
  
  
  
  

  What Clutter Does to Your Brain ADD/ADHD

   

  
  https://addcrusher.com/what-clutter-does-to-your-brain/
  
  Do you have a fortress of solitude where there is no visual noise to interfere with your budding big-ass ideas and potent problem-solving? I do.
  
  I always say, Peace of Mind requires Peace of Place, and in this second blog post on clutter, I’ve gathered up some of the science that shows just how visual and physical clutter can make our adult ADD/ADHD seem worse.
  But to get us started…In which of these two bedrooms do you think you’d fall asleep faster and get a better night’s sleep?
  
  
  
  

  Visual Clutter’s Impact On Your Brain

  …which is of particular importance in your office or other workspace.
  Research shows that any excess items in your surroundings can have a negative impact on your ability to focus and process information: Neuroscientists at Princeton showed that physical clutter in your surroundings competes for your attention, resulting in decreased performance and increased stress.
  
  Why is this? What are the mechanics of this? Writing in Psychology Today, Dr. Sherrie Bourg Carter does a nice job of explaining. She says that,
  
  
  
  

  • Clutter pelts our minds with excessive stimuli (not just visual, but olfactory, tactile), causing our senses to work overtime on unnecessary or irrelevant stimuli.
  • Clutter distracts us by pulling our attention away from where it should be.
  • Clutter constantly reminds us that our work is never done.
  • Clutter inhibits creativity and productivity by invading the open spaces that allow us to think, brainstorm, and problem solve.
  • Lastly, clutter makes it harder to relax, both physically and mentally.

  Now many of you may look around your office and say, “Hey, I like my stuff, I can find my stuff, and I’m pretty productive, so don’t mess with me or my STUFF!”
  Well, I hope the evidence-based info above will have you thinking a bit more about getting rid of a bit more! Cuz as I say in the first post in this clutter series, You don’t have to be a hoarder to benefit from some de-cluttering!
  And by the way, just as a cluttered desk can slow us down….so can a cluttered computer desktop!

  ---addcrusher

 

 

 

 

What is G.A.D in ADD/ADHD Marriage?

GAD is something all Non-ADD/ADHD partners get sooner or later in the relationship, says experts.
This is why us Non-ADD/ADHD spouses connect to each other so great because we understand exactly what each other is dealing with and going through. Lets take a look and see
what WebMD says about GAD. Click HERE to read more on GAD.

They talk about:


Generalized anxiety disorder (or GAD) is characterized by excessive, exaggerated anxiety and worry about everyday life events with no obvious reasons for worry. People with symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder tend to always expect disaster and can't stop worrying about health, money, family, work, or school. In people with GAD, the worry is often unrealistic or out of proportion for the situation. Daily life becomes a constant state of worry, fear, and dread. Eventually, the anxiety so dominates the person's thinking that it interferes with daily functioning, including work, school, social activities, and relationships
.

What Are the Symptoms of GAD?
GAD affects the way a person thinks, but the anxiety can lead to physical symptoms, as well. Symptoms of GAD can include:

• Excessive, ongoing worry and tension
• An unrealistic view of problems
• Restlessness or a feeling of being "edgy"
• Irritability
• Muscle tension
• Headaches
• Sweating
• Difficulty concentrating
• Nausea
• The need to go to the bathroom frequently
• Tiredness
• Trouble falling or staying asleep
• Trembling
• Being easily startled









Melissa Orlov

Go HERE to read more by Melissa.

Ways Not To Leave Your ADD/ADHD Spouse:



WE want you to go and read what she wrote on her page, but here is some of what she talks about:
Ditto for non-ADHD partners—counting is good.  It’s better to proactively take the time to respond to ADHD symptomatic behaviors with patience and empathy than to fly off the cuff in frustration.

Don’t manage your partner’s medications – unless asked to monitor responses to medication changes.  It is the ADHD partner’s responsibility to remember to take medications and to work with his or her doctor to optimize brand and dose.  Non-ADHD partners really can help, though, in tracking differences when new meds or doses are first tried.  That extra set of eyes can be useful!
Acknowledge that those with ADHD frequently get distracted in conversations.  Set up a simple cue, such as “I just got distracted, can you say that again?” that allows the ADHD partner to fully participate in the conversation without having to “guess” at what he or she missed.
Allow yourselves to grieve if you’ve had a rough past together or your relationship isn't what you expected.  It IS sad that your past was so hard.  But isn’t it great that you now have the tools to create a better, loving future?
Learn to appreciate the present.  Look, every day, for the positive things that have happened to you and spend a little time being thankful for them.  There is a huge body of research that demonstrates that this really helps!  Focusing on the present will also bring non-ADHD partners more in line with their ADHD partners, who tend to live in the present in any case.


-----Melissa Orlov

ADHD and Relationships:

By: Katie Hurley, LCSW
https://www.psycom.net/adhd-and-relationships/


Talks about:

Understanding the Symptoms of Adult ADHD
The defining feature of ADHD is a persistent pattern or inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interfere with functioning (in more than one area) for a period of at least six months. For adults, hyperactivity often manifests as restlessness or wearing others down.




Katie also talks about:

Symptoms of Adult ADHD that Interfere with Relationships:

The biggest challenge to making the necessary changes to improve your relationship is to understand the symptoms that have the greatest impact on your partner. Once you know how your symptoms influence your behavior with your partner, you can learn how to manage them.

Adult ADHD can be tricky because symptoms vary from person-to-person. These specific symptoms can impact how you relate to your partner:

Inattention: Adults with ADHD can lose focus during conversations, which leaves the partner feeling devalued. Inattention can also lead to mindlessly agreeing to things that you later forget. This can be frustrating and lead to resentment.


AND,



Forgetfulness: Even when adults with ADHD are paying attention, they might still forget what was discussed. This can cause others to see the person as unreliable or incapable.


Impulsivity: This symptom of adult ADHD can lead to frequent interruptions during conversations or blurting out thoughts without considering the feelings of others. This can result in hurt feelings.


Disorganization: Difficulty organizing and/or completing tasks can lead to household chaos. This can cause resentment and frustration for the partner, who might feel like he or she does more of the work at home.


AND,


Explosive temper: Many adults with ADHD have difficulty regulating their emotions. This can result in angry outbursts that leave partners feeling hurt or fearful.
While the adult with ADHD in the relationship is at risk of feeling micromanaged and overwhelmed with criticism, the non-ADHD partner might feel disconnected, lonely, or underappreciated. It’s important to place the focus on how the ADHD symptoms impact the relationship, instead of blaming one another for a breakdown in the bond.

Work on Communication Skills:

Communication often breaks down when one partner has ADHD. More often than not, the behaviors on the surface (i.e. she’s always late for dinner) mask a deeper issue (he feels underappreciated because she never shows up on time.)











https://www.psycom.net/adhd-and-relationships/

When your spouse has ADHD there is poor communications. The ADHD adult brain sorts information differently. Your partner experiences the world differently. -By: Melissa Orlov

When your spouse has adult ADHD, it’s easy to misinterpret inattentiveness, disorganization and distractibility as laziness or selfishness.
By: Melissa Orlov go HERE to read more.





Talks about:


“We had poor communication and there was a lot of anger on my part,” Orlov says. “I was sort of the parent figure and he was my child. He was distracted, and I interpreted that as he didn’t love me.”

Only after George became acquainted with someone who had ADHD – and saw how difficult it was to communicate with that person – did he realize how much his wife had been struggling in the marriage.

They decided to stay together and work on both George’s ADHD and Melissa’s response to it.

Today, their marriage is a happy, loving one, and they recently celebrated their 22nd wedding anniversary, says Orlov, who blogs at ADHDMarriage.com and wrote the book The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps (Specialty Press).

“Although I was miserable, my husband and I had a completely normal relationship when one has ADHD and the other doesn’t – and they’re not dealing with the ADHD,” Orlov says.
































https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/adhd/married-adhd-adult/

ADD/ADHD Behaviors

By Melissa C. Orlov

How the partner with ADHD often feels:
Different. The brain is often racing, and people with ADHD experience the world in a way that others don’t easily understand or relate to.
Overwhelmed, secretly or overtly, by the constant stress caused by ADHD symptoms. Keeping daily life under control takes much more work than others realize. Even if it’s not always apparent, ADHD can make someone feel like they’re struggling to keep their head above water.
Subordinate to their spouses. Their partners spend a good deal of time correcting them or running the show. The corrections make them feel incompetent, and often contribute to a parent-child dynamic. Men can describe these interactions as making them feel emasculated.
Shamed. They often hide a large amount of shame, sometimes compensating with bluster or retreat.
Unloved and unwanted. Constant reminders from spouses, bosses, and others that they should “change,” reinforce that they are unloved as they are.
Afraid to fail again. As their relationships worsen, the potential of punishment for failure increases. But their inconsistencies resulting from ADHD mean that this partner will fail at some point. Anticipating failure results in reluctance to try.
Longing to be accepted. One of the strongest emotional desires of those with ADHD is to be loved as they are, in spite of imperfections.

How the non-ADHD partner often feels:
Unwanted or unloved. The lack of attention is interpreted as lack of interest rather than distraction. One of the most common dreams is to be “cherished,” and to receive the attention from one’s spouse that this implies.
Angry and emotionally blocked. Anger and resentment permeate many interactions with the ADHD spouse. Sometimes this anger is expressed as disconnection. In an effort to control angry interactions, some non-ADHD spouses try to block their feelings by bottling them up inside.
Incredibly stressed out. Non-ADHD spouses often carry the vast proportion of the family responsibilities and can never let their guard down. Life could fall apart at any time because of the ADHD spouse’s inconsistency.
Ignored and offended. To a non-ADHD spouse, it doesn’t make sense that the ADHD spouse doesn’t act on the non-ADHD partner’s experience and advice more often when it’s “clear” what needs to be done.
Exhausted and depleted. The non-ADHD spouse carries too many responsibilities and no amount of effort seems to fix the relationship.
Frustrated. A non-ADHD spouse might feel as if the same issues keep coming back over and over again (a sort of boomerang effect).
By Melissa C. Orlov Crying, Screaming, and Hiding: All the Ways I Deal with ADHD Shame I just want to be who I am and not worry about what people think. But when shame rears its ugly head, I don’t always deal with it in a healthy way. By Linda Roggli, PCC https://www.additudemag.com/dealing-with-shame-adhd-personal-story/ 11 ADD/ADHD Behaviors That Could Be Harming Your Marriage  By Sheri Stritof  CLICK HERE TO READ.

What ADD and ADHD causes to relationships

By: Melissa C. Orlov

How the partner with ADHD often feels:
Different. The brain is often racing, and people with ADHD experience the world in a way that others don’t easily understand or relate to.
Overwhelmed, secretly or overtly, by the constant stress caused by ADHD symptoms. Keeping daily life under control takes much more work than others realize. Even if it’s not always apparent, ADHD can make someone feel like they’re struggling to keep their head above water.
Subordinate to their spouses. Their partners spend a good deal of time correcting them or running the show. The corrections make them feel incompetent, and often contribute to a parent-child dynamic. Men can describe these interactions as making them feel emasculated.
Shamed. They often hide a large amount of shame, sometimes compensating with bluster or retreat.
Unloved and unwanted. Constant reminders from spouses, bosses, and others that they should “change,” reinforce that they are unloved as they are.
Afraid to fail again. As their relationships worsen, the potential of punishment for failure increases. But their inconsistencies resulting from ADHD mean that this partner will fail at some point. Anticipating failure results in reluctance to try.
Longing to be accepted. One of the strongest emotional desires of those with ADHD is to be loved as they are, in spite of imperfections. By: Melissa C. Orlov How the non-ADHD partner often feels: Unwanted or unloved. The lack of attention is interpreted as lack of interest rather than distraction. One of the most common dreams is to be “cherished,” and to receive the attention from one’s spouse that this implies. Angry and emotionally blocked. Anger and resentment permeate many interactions with the ADHD spouse. Sometimes this anger is expressed as disconnection. In an effort to control angry interactions, some non-ADHD spouses try to block their feelings by bottling them up inside. Incredibly stressed out. Non-ADHD spouses often carry the vast proportion of the family responsibilities and can never let their guard down. Life could fall apart at any time because of the ADHD spouse’s inconsistency. Ignored and offended. To a non-ADHD spouse, it doesn’t make sense that the ADHD spouse doesn’t act on the non-ADHD partner’s experience and advice more often when it’s “clear” what needs to be done. Exhausted and depleted. The non-ADHD spouse carries too many responsibilities and no amount of effort seems to fix the relationship. Frustrated. A non-ADHD spouse might feel as if the same issues keep coming back over and over again (a sort of boomerang effect). By: Melissa C. Orlov  Click here to read: How does ADHD or ADD affect relationships? https://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/adult-adhd-attention-deficit-disorder-and-relationships.htm

ADD/ADHD Spouses Say: ADD/ADHD Makes Them Feel Powerless In Life

When Spouses Say ADD/ADHD Makes Them Feel Powerless:

The big thing about ADD and ADHD is that your behavior is not fully controllable, making that individual feel powerless to all in their lives. We scoured the internet for answers and these are the answers we got.


1. My ADD/ADHD has total control over me and I feel like nothing in life is in my control.

2. Q: Is over thinking a symptom of ADD or ADHD? A: No, it could just be anxiety.  -Physiatrist

3. Melissa Orlov writes: What it feels like to have ADHD, Click here to read more.

4. It is like your brain has all the control over your thoughts and actions, even when know they aren't true, your brain makes them true to you.

5. You have to live in your own fairy tail because life is to much for me, I'll go crazy if I don't live in my own pretend world away from real life.

6. You'll never understand what it's like to have ADD or ADHD, our brains work in an autistic way... not a normal way like yours.

7. I just want you to except me and understand my ADD/ADHD doesn't define who I really am on the inside.

8. Please keep researching on ADD and ADHD so that you understand me and help the both of us with this.

9. Don't treat me like a child, but treat me like a child because my ADD/ADHD has all the control over my brain.

10. Remember you're in a relationship with my ADD/ADHD not who I am at my core. Remember who I am at my core.

11. I hide away because I feel safe from the world that has always been against me and corrected me. I don't like being corrected because it reminds me of all the things I can't ever get right, and that is frustrating because it reminds me that my ADD/ADHD controls everything about my life.


12. If I am trying, at least I am trying instead of not willing to do nothing. My behaviors are my ADD/ADHD, not me, remember you're in love with me, but in a relationship with ADD/ADHD self.

13. Please don't ever give up on me or us. I hate that I have ADD/ADHD.

14. Making me daily schedules and walking me by  my hand is helpful. But it can also make me feel like a child too. Depending my mood is depending on the reaction to it that you'll get.

15. I want total control of everything in our lives because it is the only way I feel I have any control at all. My ADD/ADHD has utterly full control over me and that is how I feel better about myself.

16. What ADHD Feels Like. IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE MY BRAIN IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL. By: adhdcollective. Click here to read more.

17. ADD/ADHD Taming Your Inner Control Freak. Click here to read.

18. ADD/ADHD Makes Me Feel Powerless. By: Jenna Dodson
 Click here to read more.

19. My thoughts are always there, they hoard up my brain 24/7.

20. There are many things that they share. But we shall stop here. Please feel free to leave your comment below if you want to add your story.















ADD/ADHD EFFECTS ON MARRIAGE. Tips for increasing empathy in your relationship.
Study up on ADD & ADHD. You can never do enough scouring.
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/adult-adhd-attention-deficit-disorder-and-relationships.htm