By Melissa Orlov Ways ADHD Ruins Marriages

9 Ways ADHD Ruins Marriages

“The most destructive pattern in an ADHD relationship is when one partner becomes the responsible ‘parent’ figure and the other the irresponsible ‘child.'” 8 more unhealthy ADD marriage mistakes, and how to remedy them.

By Melissa Orlov















https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-divorce-rate-marriage-help/

ADD/ADHD and video games

BY: Larry Maucieri Ph.D., ABPP-CN

Video game use is quite common in individuals with ADHD. And in today’s blog we look not so much at the goods and evils of video games, but at the attraction to video games that many kids and adults with ADHD have. What keeps them coming back? And why can people with ADHD focus so intensely on video games for so long but not focus on other things in their lives?










https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-distracted-couple/201603/what-s-in-game-the-draw-video-games-in-adhd?fbclid=IwAR1y3mySm1q01klolqiU-tq-l3EPuQ4D7B-UcgIVnJocIxnDYx4VsiOBGvU

Advice for the Partner of an ADHD Spouse

Advice for the Partner of an ADHD Spouse

By Keath Low


Advice for the Partner

Dr. Goodman says it is very helpful for the non-ADHD spouse to develop an understanding of the impact ADHD can have on an individual’s daily functioning.

“The non-ADHD spouse may assume their ADHD partner is being passive aggressive when they are late, procrastinating, or forgetful,” notes Dr. Goodman. “It may look like the ADHD partner is unmotivated to change or trying to annoy, when in fact the ADHD individual is impaired and unable to perform at the required level.”

Most often the problematic behaviors of the ADHD partner are a function of an inability and impairment rather than a motivation issue. With this insight and understanding the non-ADHD spouse is often less frustrated.




https://www.verywellmind.com/marriage-and-adult-add-20411

Symptoms of adult: ASD & ADD & ADHD & ODD.

Adult: ASD, ADD, ADHD, ODD,

By Janice Rodden
Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Adults

Adults with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) display a pattern of negative, hostile, and defiant behavior that lasts at least six months and includes four (or more) of the following symptoms:

• Often loses temper
• Often argues with family and coworkers
• Actively defies or refuses to comply with rules and laws
• Deliberately annoys people
• Blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
• Easily annoyed by others
• Angry and resentful
• Spiteful or vindictive

Adults with ODD are more than just aggressive and irritating from time to time. They feel mad at the world every day, and lose their temper regularly. This may manifest as verbal abuse or road rage. Adults with ODD defend themselves relentlessly when someone says they’ve done something wrong. They feel misunderstood and disliked, hemmed in, and pushed around. Constant opposition to authority figures makes it difficult for adults with ODD to keep jobs and to maintain relationships and marriages. They are particularly quick to anger, they are impatient, and they have a low tolerance for frustration.
[Self-Test: Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Adults]

Causes of ODD in Adults

ODD may be genetic. It often begins in childhood with patterns of rebellion against adults and their rules, particularly those that try to make children with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) behave in ways that their brains simply can’t. Some children with ODD outgrow the condition by age eight or nine. But about half of them continue to experience symptoms of ODD through adulthood.
These people report feeling angry all of the time, and about 40 percent of them become progressively worse and develop antisocial personality disorder. Understanding ODD can help provide a neurological explanation for gut-wrenching feelings, and is an important first step to finding treatment.
[Why Am I So Angry All the Time?]

Symptoms of ODD in Adults at Home

Your spouse seems overly argumentative. Your roommate is unnecessarily hostile. These and other common manifestations of ODD may be apparent at home:

• Always needs to win the argument with a parent or spouse
• Continues to fight against ‘the man’ — authority figures and society
• Leaves socks on the floor just because he knows it annoys his roommate
• Cited for disorderly conduct by police
• Involved in bar brawls or physical altercations in public
• Has a hair-trigger temper — the littlest thing can set her off

Symptoms of ODD in Adults at Work

These or similar manifestations of ODD may be apparent at work:

• Near constant arguments with a boss or coworkers
• Commonly feeling oppressed by office rules
• Purposely engaging in behaviors that irritate coworkers, like eating smelly foods for lunch
• Sanctioned by human resources for violating company policies
• Previously fired for pushing coworkers in heated moments
• Has meltdowns during meetings or annual reviews after receiving constructive criticism
  
  -By Janice Rodden
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  By ADDitude Editors
  
  ADHD/ADD Symptom Test for Adults:
  
  
  Check each of the following statements that apply to you…
  1. I have difficulty getting organized.
  2. When given a task, I usually procrastinate rather than doing it right away.
  3. I work on a lot of projects, but can’t seem to complete most of them.
  4. I tend to make decisions and act on them impulsively — like spending money, getting sexually involved with someone, diving into new activities, and changing plans.
  5. I get bored easily.
  6. No matter how much I do or how hard I try, I just can’t seem to reach my goals.
  
  7. I often get distracted when people are talking; I just tune out or drift off.
  8. I get so wrapped up in some things I do that I can hardly stop to take a break or switch to doing something else.
  9. I tend to overdo things even when they’re not good for me — like compulsive shopping, drinking too much, overworking, and overeating.
  10. I get frustrated easily and I get impatient when things are going too slowly.
  
  11. My self-esteem is not as high as that of others I know.
  12. I need a lot of stimulation from things like action movies and video games, new purchases, being among lively friends, driving fast or engaging in extreme sports.
  13. I tend to say or do things without thinking, and sometimes that gets me into trouble.
  14. I’d rather do things my own way than follow the rules and procedures of others.
  15. I often find myself tapping a pencil, swinging my leg, or doing something else to work off nervous energy.
   
• 16. I can feel suddenly down when I’m separated from people, projects or things that I like to be involved with.
  17. I see myself differently than others see me, and when someone gets angry with me for doing something that upset them I’m often very surprised.
  18. Even though I worry a lot about dangerous things that are unlikely to happen to me, I tend to be careless and accident prone.
  19. Even though I have a lot of fears, people would describe me as a risk taker.
  20. I make a lot of careless mistakes.
  21. I have blood relatives who suffer from ADHD, another neurological disorder, or substance abuse.
  
  If you answered yes to 15 of these questions, it is likely that you have attention deficit disorder (ADHD). However, you can still have ADHD even if you answered yes to fewer than 15 of these questions. This informal test is intended as a general guide only.
  
  What To Do Next:
  1. Take This Test: ADHD / ADD Symptoms in Adults
  
  2. Take This Test: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in Adults
  
  3. Take This Test: Emotional Hyperarousal in Adults
  
  4. Download 6 Steps to a Thorough ADHD Evaluation
  
  5. Find an ADHD specialist nearby in our ADDitude Directory
  
  6. Research Your ADHD Treatment Options
  
  7. Listen to “ADHD in Adults vs. Children” — a Free Webinar with Dr. William Dodson
  
  8. Consult Our Post-Diagnosis Guide for Adults
  -By ADDitude Editors
  
  
  
  
  
  
  By Janice Rodden, ADDitude Editors
  Common ASD symptoms in adults include:
  
  • Difficulty understanding others’ feelings
  • Trouble keeping up with conversations
  • Inflection that does not reflect feelings
  • Strict consistency to daily routines or activities
  • Deep knowledge of one particular topic
  • Trouble interpreting body language, facial expressions, or social cues
  If you think you might show signs of ASD, answer these self-test questions.
  
  1. Have you always wanted a best friend, but never found one?
  2. Do people often refer to you as “quirky” or “eccentric?”
  3. When having a conversation, do you avoid making eye contact?
  4. Are expressions like, “Curiosity killed the cat” confusing to you?
  5. Is your memory like a steel trap, even for facts that you don’t fully understand?
  6. Do you follow the same routine every day, and dislike unexpected events?
  7. Do you talk to friends at a party the same way you would talk to co-workers in the office?
  8. Are you always bumping into things, or tripping over your own feet?
  9. When you’re in a quiet place, do you make involuntary noises, like clearing your throat, over and over?
  10. Are you really good at math or music, but struggle in other areas?
  If you agreed with a majority of these statements, you may have some characteristics that resemble ASD. Take your results to a healthcare professional and request an evaluation.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Lawnmower Parents Helicopter Parents.

Lawnmower Parents Helicopter Parents.  By: WeAreTeachers Staff



Click HERE to read what they say about:

Lawnmower parents go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent their child from having to face adversity, struggle, or failure.

Instead of preparing children for challenges, they mow obstacles down so kids won’t experience them in the first place. But in raising children who have experienced minimal struggle, we are not creating a happier generation of kids. We are creating a generation that has no what idea what to do when they actually encounter struggle. A generation who panics or shuts down at the mere idea of failure. A generation for whom failure is far too painful, leaving them with coping mechanisms like addiction, blame, and internalization. The list goes on.

If we eliminate all struggle in children’s younger years, they will not arrive at adulthood magically equipped to deal with failure.

Indeed, childhood is when they learn these skills.
A child who has never had to deal with conflict on their own will not approach the first test they bomb in college and say, “Yikes. I really need to study harder. I’ll reach out to the graduate assistant and see if they know of study groups I can join or other materials I can read to do better on the next one.” Instead, they will very likely respond in one or more of the following ways:

• Blame the professor
• Call home and beg their parents to intervene 
• Have a mental breakdown or make themselves miserable
• Write nasty reviews online about the professor and their class
• Begin planning for the inevitable destruction of their college career/future
• Assume they failed because they’re stupid
• Collapse in on themselves and give up completely and stop trying
  
  
  
  
  --WeAreTeachers Staff