Advice for the Partner
Dr. Goodman says it is very helpful for the non-ADHD spouse to develop an understanding of the impact ADHD can have on an individual’s daily functioning.
“The non-ADHD spouse may assume their ADHD partner is being passive aggressive when they are late, procrastinating, or forgetful,” notes Dr. Goodman. “It may look like the ADHD partner is unmotivated to change or trying to annoy, when in fact the ADHD individual is impaired and unable to perform at the required level.”
Most often the problematic behaviors of the ADHD partner are a function of an inability and impairment rather than a motivation issue. With this insight and understanding the non-ADHD spouse is often less frustrated.
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