For Spouses With ADD/ADHD Partner

Don’t Just Talk, Communicate

Good communication is the key to strong relationships. This is true for adults with and without attention deficit. The problem is, adults with ADHD often think that they’re communicating when really they’re just talking. How to get your feelings across effectively with friends and partners.

Click above on DON'T JUST TALK, COMMUNICATE, to go to the link.


This link talks about,

Communication with ADD/ADHD Adults is very hard because they don't communicate, they just talk. There is also other links out there from ADD/ADHD Doctors who say the ADD/ADHD partner just can't have good or proper communication skills unless they truly want to end misunderstands and so forth.



Click HERE to read ---- That’s ADHD again? You Don’t Say! Listen Closely and Hear the Effects of ADHD on Communication.
By: Mark Bertin, M.D.

It talks about,
Talk the Talk:
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) 5 is the standard diagnostic manual for clinicians in the fields of child development and mental health. Recently updated (although not yet released), the new version divides communication into three components: speech, language and pragmatics. These skills are defined as follows:

• Speech comprises everything that goes into producing sounds. Common speech concerns include articulation disorders (unexpected inability to produce specific sounds), stuttering and stammering.
• Language is the meaning of words and how we put them together. It includes vocabulary, grammar and narrative discourse along with corresponding receptive language abilities. Under the present system, common diagnoses in this area are expressive language delays (such as using fewer words or sentences than expected) and receptive language delays (understanding less than expected for age).
• Pragmatic language represents all the nonverbal nuances that facilitate everyday conversation, and broadly includes anything regarding the social side of communication. It includes all the unspoken aspects of communication, like reading faces and monitoring tone of voice, as well as adapting ourselves to different situations (such as speaking to a teacher versus a peer). Skills such as understanding gestures, non-literal meetings (such as metaphor, irony and sarcasm), and detecting the emotional meaning behind a change in facial expression depend on an intuitive grasp of pragmatics.

Speech and ADHD
Studies show that children with ADHD are at risk for articulation disorders, which affect their ability to produce letter sounds appropriate for their age. Beyond that, they also commonly have differences in fluency and vocal quality when speaking. One study even detected ADHD through these speech differences. Compared to peers with learning disabilities alone, children with ADHD showed increased volume and variability in pitch when talking, along with particular patterns such as increased number of vocal pauses.
Children with ADHD produce more vocal repetitions or word fillers as they try to organize their thoughts, somewhat similar to a stammer. This can lead to impatience and misunderstandings from others, especially children, as they generally don’t have the same patience and perspective as adults. A response in the classroom may be along the lines of, “It’s a story abou … um… a story… um… um… it’s about … akidwhofliesakite… um.”
Communication and ADHD process language differently as well. For starters, they are at increased risk for significant language delays. Even without specific delays, because of distractibility and related ADHD symptoms, they are more likely to get off-topic when speaking. They also frequently struggle to find the right words and put thoughts together quickly and linearly in conversation. Errors in grammar as they compose sentences also may occur, because of planning difficulties present even when underlying skills in this area are intact. All these ADHD- related symptoms, with or without actual language delays, may impact the ability to communicate effectively.
In ADHD, listening comprehension can be impaired directly, in particular because of difficulty handling rapidly-spoken language or managing distracting, noisy environments like a party or a busy classroom. Again, this is true even when a child doesn’t have an actual language delay; they have the capacity to understand, but because of ADHD, miss details in both conversation and stories. When listening, they may lose track of conversational threads entirely or miss details, and therefore fail to register vital bits of information. These same gaps frequently come across as oppositional behavior when a request appears intentionally ignored instead of not being heard in the first place. These patterns also relate to the reading comprehension difficulties often found with ADHD.
Paying attention to the thread of conversation can become even more problematic for a child with ADHD in groups or when in a noisy situation.The ability to retain focus on a single speaker and to transition between speakers is challenging. This has social implications, leading some children with ADHD to find it easier to get along one-on-one rather than in a group. Distracting classrooms, when multiple activities occur simultaneously, may make it particularly difficult for a child with ADHD to engage.
ADHD also often makes it hard to manage large clumps of conversation all at once. While another 8-year-old may be able to handle hearing as many as twelve words at a clip with good understanding, with ADHD, seven or eight might be the maximum. Anything larger, and information begins to be dropped.
These types of problems in understanding spoken language are often incorrectly labeled as an ‘auditory processing disorder.’ There is nothing wrong with the actual auditory pathway; the information gets in, but executive function impairments mismanage it. The brain manager is asleep on the job again, jumbling the details about what’s being said.

Adult ADHD and Relationships

Dealing with Symptoms Together and Overcoming Relationship Challenges

Click HERE to read.


Last but not least it also talks about,

Symptoms of ADHD that can cause relationship problems

Trouble paying attention. If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don’t remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one.
Forgetfulness. Even when someone with ADHD is paying attention, they may later forget what was promised or discussed. When it’s your spouse’s birthday or the formula you said you’d pick up, your partner may start to feel like you don’t care or that you’re unreliable.
Poor organizational skills. This can lead to difficulty finishing tasks as well as general household chaos. Partners may feel like they’re always cleaning up after the person with ADHD and shouldering a disproportionate amount of the family duties.
Impulsivity. You may blurt things out without thinking, which can cause hurt feelings. This impulsivity can also lead to irresponsible and even reckless behavior (for example, making a big purchase that isn’t in the budget, leading to fights over finances).
Emotional outbursts. Many people with ADHD have trouble moderating their emotions. They may lose your temper easily and have trouble discussing issues calmly. Making your
 Non-ADHD partner feel like they have to walk on eggshells to avoid blowups.



How to Improve Communication With Your ADHD Partner

Click HERE to read more.



Remember, you can never learn enough about this GIFT your partner has. It is a learning thing that is always a learning prosses for you both, but especially the Non-ADHD spouse.







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