ADD/ADHD & Down Syndrome

The non-ADHD partner often ends up being the one who provides structure and reminders 24/7. This resulting of their ADHD partner's behaviors. The ADD/ADHD spouses may even feel like they're wife nags/complains, and making you feel as if you're being forced to do things. As we have talked about in other blogs with provided links from professionals, their behaviors for being in total control are higher then the average control freak, also resulting in the person with ADD/ADHD of losing jobs as they have a very hard time when even their boss tells them how or when to do something. The Non-ADHD partner and those living there feel many things just from this behavior alone. What it causes the Non-ADD/ADHD partner and those living in and around it? What issues does it cause in daily life, home, family, and more?

Naming some of them,

1. Resentment

2. Stress and Depression

3. Chaoticness and dysfunction in not just the home, but in every day life

4. Lonely and un-cared for

5. Un-loved

6. Un-wanted

7. Overwhelmed

8.  Ignored

9.  Un-heard

10. No life, or allowed to be happy

11. & More



So as the Non-ADD/ADHD spouse what are you to do? Click HERE.

Talks about:

Think of ADHD as a cultural difference...that will always exist.





Relax! Lets talk about the ADD/ADHD life & marriage.
ADD/ADHD behaviors can't fully be controlled. Experts say that the spouse with ADD/ADHD describes this as: This is not who I am on the inside, the disability takes total control over my brain.
As the Non-ADD/ADHD spouse we will never understand this either, says professionals. Their brains are programed and hardwired very differently. It's been explained by phycologists that if we try to understand the person with down syndrome, read more from WebMD here.
The NDSS talks about ADD and Down Syndrome. Read more here.

In that link the NDSS (Government administered) talks about:
ADHD & Down Syndrome. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, is a commonly diagnosed childhood problem. ADHD is characterized by consistent demonstration of the following traits: decreased attention span, impulsive behavior and excessive fidgeting or other nondirected motor activity.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Down syndrome

By: Sue Buckley


Click HERE to read. It talks about:

The profile of difficulties that her daughter experienced &  which finally led to her being diagnosed as having ADHD as well as Down syndrome. This led her to do re-search to see what information there was out there with the diagnosis. The answer is.... very little. She says they found only few articles mentioning either attention difficulties or hyperactivity in individuals with Down syndrome.That all being shared in the links we have provided should help you to understand our partner a wee bit better. This is why their behavior is in control of them and they have very little control over it, it is caused from not just having ADD/ADHD but a bit of down syndrome being in their brains. Read here how down syndrome controls your brain. By: medschool.ucsd.edu

It will talk about:
Down syndrome brain function

As indicated above, brain circuit function requires the formation and function of synapses and the creation of a proper balance of excitation and inhibition. Studies of mice have shown that synapses in brain circuits known to be affected in Down syndrome are abnormal in both structure and function.
Read more on here from cme.ucsd.edu/ddhealth/courses/ADHDThere they talk about:

Often fails to pay close attention to details, or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work or other activities

Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities

Often does not seem to listen when addressed directly

Often does not follow through on instructions; fails to finish schoolwork, chores or duties in the workplace

Often has difficulty in organizing tasks and activities

Often avoids, dislikes or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort

Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities

Often is easily distracted by extraneous stimuli

Often is forgetful in daily activities

 Hyperactivity-Impulsivity

• Often fidgets or squirms in seat
• Often leaves seat in situations where remaining seated is expected
• Often moves excessively in inappropriate situations
• Often has difficulty in quietly engaging in leisure activities
• Often is “on the go” or acts as if “driven by a motor”
• Often talks excessively
• Often blurts out answers before questions have been completed
• Has difficulty waiting for a turn
• Often interrupts or intrudes on others
  
   above is By: medschool.ucsd.edu
  
  
  
  
  So yes, going back to what we had been talking about, as the Non-ADD/ADHD partner we have to remember that even though to the rest of the worlds things even in daily life especially, is common sense... but to the partner of ADD/ADHD even common sense makes no sense to them because their brains just don't work like ours. So try to have some understandings when dealing with their communications, wordings, memory, violent rages, and so froth. This is why it is hard for the ADD/ADHD spouse because of their special needs. The Non-ADD/ADHD partner has no choice but to be the home keeper weather that partner has a job to go work at or not. Also understand that ADD/ADHD and down syndrome both have a part in it together. So, when you're upset that you spouse forgot something you reminded them several times in the last 30 minutes....to them they probably only remember you saying it once if even at all.
  
  
  With my partner, I try to stay away from saying things like, Don't you remember? How could you forget? We have had this talk numerous times how could you keep forgetting about it?
  Remember they have a mental disability that they can't help. THIS is why as the
  Non-ADD/ADHD partner we end up also feeling like their parent rather than their spouse.
    Click here to see Strategies for Coping With Your Spouse's ADD/ADHD.When you married your partner, you made promises such as *through sickness and health*.
  You chose it whether you knew you did or not, so you need to do right just like your partner needs to control their ADD/ADHD behaviors. Down Syndrome: We know that people with Down syndrome have difficulties with brain functioning's, including problems memory and speech throughout life, as well as the onset in later life of increased cognitive problems associated with the brain changes of Alzheimer's disease.
  ADHD: ADHD is a disorder which primarily originates in and affects the brain in different ways. Dopamine is closely associated with reward centers in the brain, and also interacts with other potent neurotransmitters to regulate mood. Low dopamine levels thus drive the individual to seek the reward feeling by other means.
  ADD: Is an attention deficit disorder, it is a weakness in the brain's ability on information & important sensory information. An attention deficit may also affect the brain's ability to filter out information that is not important. People with ADD cannot tune out distractions that others may barely notice.
  
  
  Now that have talked about the brains roll that down syndrome and ADD/ADHD roll together in, lets now talk about the behaviors of them.
  
  By Sheri Stritof says: ADD/ADHD Behaviors are,
  
  • Irresponsibility and Lack of Follow-Through: When it comes to household chores, your spouse does not follow through or accept any responsibility for the disorganization in your home or for household maintenance. A messy house and who does what and when is a major issue in your marriage.
  • Interruptions: Your spouse interrupts you and others a great deal to the point where you think what's the point in trying to have a conversation and you are embarrassed by the apparent rudeness towards your friends and family members.
  • Denial: Your spouse won't admit to making a mistake even when it is obvious. Your partner may also deny the ADHD diagnosis.
  • Distractedness: When your spouse is inattentive, easily distracted, or impulsive, you feel like climbing a wall and disappearing.
  • Nagging: You dislike yourself for nagging, but you don't know what else to do to get your disorganized spouse to finish anything, or put anything away, or keep promises, etc.
  • Financial Problems: Your financial situation is precarious because your spouse is not good at handling money, overspends, forgets to pay bills, can't keep a job, and/or won't talk about money problems with you.
  
  

  Taking a Parental Role: You often feel more like a parent than an equal partner to your spouse. You find yourself reminding your forgetful spouse about taking medications, meeting appointments, remembering birthdays, completing projects, etc.
  • Low-Sex Marriage: Your sexual relationship is less than either of you would like it to be.
  • Difficulty Making Decisions: Making decisions or talking about difficult issues with your spouse is nearly impossible.
  • Being Ignored: As your spouse retreats into a computer game or other project, you may feel ignored or think that your marriage is in a rut, but your spouse doesn't see your marriage in the same way.
  • Uneasiness: Walking on eggshells around your spouse is the only way you find you can keep the peace in your marriage.
    
    
    
    Down Syndrome behaviors. The NDSS says:
  • Disruptive, impulsive, inattentive, hyperactive and oppositional behaviors (raising concerns of coexisting oppositional disorder and ADHD)
  • Anxious, stuck, ruminative, inflexible behaviors (raising concerns of co-existing generalized anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders)
  • Deficits in social relatedness, self-immersed, repetitive stereotypical behaviors (raising concerns of co-existing autism or pervasive developmental disorder)
  • Chronic sleep difficulties, daytime sleepiness, fatigue, and mood related problems (raising concerns of co-existing sleep disorders and sleep apnea)
    Generalized anxiety
  • Depression, social withdrawal, loss of interest, and diminished self-care
  • Regression with decline in cognitive and social skills
    
    The NDSS also says, All these changes in behavior often seem to occur as a reaction to triggered by a psychosocial & environmental stressor, e.g., illness.
    
    Click HERE to read NDSS Meet our Staff.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
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